Epic Jokes

Buy a falconer’s glove. Approach the girl you like wearing the falconers glove. Ask her “Excuse me, have you seen a falcon fly by here?” Look up to the sky, hopeful/sad. If she says “No,” look distraught and ask her if she wouldn’t mind helping you look for your falcon. No human being would ever [...]

1. Make brown-bag lunches for your roommate every morning. Give them to him before he goes to class/ work. 2. Every time you enter the room, sit in a chair, lean back to far, and fall over backwards. Laugh hysterically for about ten minutes. Then, one day, repeat the falling-over exercise, but instead of laughing, [...]

Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl’. The priest asks, ‘Is that you, little Joey Pagano ?’ ‘Yes, Father, it is.’ ‘And who was the girl you were with?’ ‘I can’t tell you, Father. I don’t want to ruin her reputation’. “Well, Joey, I’m sure to find out [...]

So after landing my new job as a Wal-Mart greeter, a good find for many retirees, I lasted less than a day…. About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into the store with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the [...]

An armed hooded robber bursts into the Bank of Ireland and forces the tellers to load a sack full of cash. On his way out the door with the loot, one brave Irish customer grabs the hood and pulls it off revealing the robber’s face. The robber shoots the guy in the head without hesitation! [...]