Epic Jokes

Eminem meeting Chuck Norris: Eminem: I’M NOT AFRAID! Chuck Norris: I love the way you lie…

Chuck Norris’s girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, “HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!” and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend’s bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, “Don’t fuck with Chuck!” Two years and five [...]

Q. What did the blonde’s left leg say to her right leg? A. Between the two of us, we can make a lot of money.

Two Eskimos, sitting in a kayak, were very chilly. To keep warm, they lit afire in the craft, but it sank. They should have known. You can`t have yourkayak and heat it too.

Why doesn`t Mexico have an Olympic team? Any Mexican that can run jump or swim is in the US!

I`m not a sexy guy. I went to a hooker. I dropped my pants. She dropped her price.

An Englishman, Frenchman, Mexican, and Texan were flying across country on a small plane when the pilot comes on the loud speaker and says “We`re having mechanical problems and the only way we can make it to the next airport is for 3 of you to open the door and jump, at least one of [...]

Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

A man was driving down the highway with a car full of penguins. Penguins sticking out the windows, penguins coming out the sunroof, penguin everywhere. A cop pulled him over and told him if he didn`t want a ticket he`d better take those penguins straight to the zoo. The man promised hewould and drove off.The [...]