I got a pre-declined credit card offer in the mail. Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen. Parents in Bevery Hills are considering raising their own children. I saw the CEO of Wal-Mart shopping at Wal-Mart. Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting. A prostitute asked me if she could borrow $20 until she can get back on [...]
A truck driver, hauling a tractor-trailer load of computers, stops for a beer. As he approaches the bar, he sees a big sign on the door that says, "COMPUTER NERDS NOT ALLOWED – ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK!" He enters and sits down. The bartender comes over to him, sniffs, and says that he smells [...]
A man was getting a haircut prior to a trip to Rome. He mentioned the trip to the barber, who responded, “Why would anyone want to go there. Its crowded and dirty and full of Italians. You’re crazy to go to Rome.So, how are you getting there?” “We’re taking TWA,” was the reply. “We got [...]
A little boy says to his mother, "Mommy, how come I’m black and you’re white?" His mother replied, "Don’t even go there! From what I can remember about that party, you’re lucky you don’t bark!
A man walks up to the White house and shouts to the guard, "I’d like to speak to George Bush, the President." The guard replies, "George Bush is no longer the President of the United States. Obama is the President." After this happens three days in a row, the guard yells in disgust, "I told [...]
A local United Way office realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town’s most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute. "Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn’t you [...]
Our experienced Mom will care for your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included. Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children. Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel. Stock up and save. Limit: one. Semi-Annual after Christmas Sale 3 year old teacher needed for pre-school. Experience preferred. [...]
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