Archive for April, 2010

Kelley’s Restaurant

A group of 45 year old guys discuss where they should meet for dinner. Finally they agree to meet at the Kelley’s Restaurant because the waitresses have low cut blouses and nice proportions. 10 years later at age 55, the group agrees to meet at Kelley’s because the food is good and the wine selection [...]

New Boss

A large company, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hired a new CEO. The new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers. On a tour of the facilities, the CEO noticed a guy leaning on a wall. The room was full of workers and he wanted to let them know that [...]

A Man Walks Into A Bar

A man walks into a bar, and orders a beer. He drinks the beer, then stands on the bar, drops his pants and pisses all over the place. The bar tender freaks out. "You dirty disgusting pig! How dare you come into my bar and urinate! I’ll beat the shit out of you…" The man [...]

Reward them Soldiers

A British General had sent some of his men off to fight for their country in the Falkland Island Crisis. Upon returning to England from the South American island, three soldiers that had distinguished themselves in battle were summoned to the General’s office. "Since we weren’t actually at war," the General began, "I can’t give [...]

How to ride the train for free

Three engineers and three accountants wre traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three accountants each bought tickets and watched as the three engineers bought only one ticket. "How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asked an accountant. "Watch and you’ll see", answered an engineer. They all boarded [...]

Golf affairs

A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their passions overcame them and they took off for her house, where they made passionate love all afternoon. Exhausted from the wild sex, they fell asleep, awakening around 8:00 pm. As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take [...]

Death row

There was a German, an Italian and an Irishman on death row. The warden gave them a choice of three ways to die: 1. to be shot 2. to be hung 3. to be injected with the AIDS virus for a slow death. So the German said, "Shoot me right in the head." Bang! (he [...]

Things that are difficult to say when you’re drunk

a) Innovative b) Preliminary c) Proliferation d) Cinnamon Things that are VERY difficult to say when you’re drunk: a) Specificity b) British Constitution c) Passive-aggressive disorder d) Transubstantiate Things that are ABSOLUTELY IMPOSSIBLE to say when you’re drunk: a) Thanks, but I don’t want to sleep with you. b) Nope, no more booze for me. [...]