Epic Jokes

1.    Police in Wichita, Kansas, arrested a 22-year-old man at an airport hotel after he tried to pass two (counterfeit) $16 bills. 2.    A man in Johannesberg, South Africa, shot his 49-year-old friend in the face, seriously wounding him, while the two practiced shooting beer cans off each other’s head. 3.    A company trying to [...]

Only in America…..do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. Only in America……do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke. ! Only in America……do banks leave both doors open and then chain [...]

In a small midwestern conservative town, there wasn’t a place to get a drink for miles around, so a local entrepreneur saw an opportunity: He started to build a tavern. Liking a "dry" town, the local church started a campaign to block the bar from opening with petitions and prayers. The businessman was polite when [...]

1. I will not pick off friends, family or neighbors of the Hero one at a time. This annoys the Hero and drives him into action.  They’ll still be there when he is dead. 2. There are thousands of sick people who want to be vampires. Why pick someone who doesn’t? 3. The Hero will [...]

“ This should be taken care of right away.” I’d planned a trip to Hawaii next month but this is so easy and profitable that I want to fix it before it cures itself. “Welllllll, what have we here…?” He has no idea and is hoping you’ll give him a clue. “Let me check your [...]

Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met. After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their life together was, of course, perfect. One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve, this perfect couple was driving their perfect car along a winding road, when they noticed someone at the side of the road [...]

1. You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids. 2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it. 3. You’ve been married three times and still have the same in-laws. 4. You think a woman who is [...]

A father passing by his son’s bedroom, was astonished to see the bed was nicely made, and that everything was picked up and tidy. Then, he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, ‘Dad.’ With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands. Dear [...]

An Illinois man left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel in Florida, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail. Unable to find the scrap of paper on [...]

1 . The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there, and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty. 2. You’re very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake [...]